“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” We’ve all heard that one before.
But what about this one, “success occurs when opportunity meets preparation.”
It’s one thing to plan for a certain situation and it doesn’t work out the way you thought. That’s life, and especially life in a blended family.
However, to not prepare yourself emotionally & physically for whatever comes, is truly setting yourself up for more stress, frustration and ultimately, failure.
When in the beginning stages of blending two families into one, there are things you need to look out for to best set your family up for success.
These are the things you should focus on first:
A concrete focus on strengthening the relationship & having healthy communication
The two partners are the entire reason that two families are blending together in the first place. Place your focus there on nurturing a safe space for you both to grow. Co-create a respectful & loving level of communication, so that you don’t lose each other in process of becoming a family.
A defined role for step parent & strategy for co-parenting
When the new stepparent feels useless, they can easily start to feel like an outsider. Decide together on what kind of role they are to play at this current stage of your relationship, and set up a plan for your continued growth as a power couple.
Making your relationship the foundation & #1 priority
Funny enough, this is the one most often overlooked. It can be so easy to forget what brought you together in the first place when there’s all these other situations distracting you. However, don’t forget about your parent. Focus on building a strong foundation with each other first – and then, as a team, tackle the other obstacles and challenges that arise.
Intentional boundaries set with the other bio parent(s)
It’d hard to build a strong foundation, if you’re on shaky ground. Whether at the beginning of your relationship or a few months (or even a year in), be sure to establish strong boundaries for interactions with the ex. As you come together in your new family, it’s important to put up barriers to protect & safeguard what you are building.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re not mindful, you easily become consumed by everyone else’s needs and completely forget your own. Find ways and opportunities where you can take a step back from your relationship & new family, and spend time doing things that bring you joy and de-stress you.
Now, you have a defined roadmap of what you should be focusing on.
But HOW to do that? That’s a whole other story.
-How do you decide together on the right co-parenting role each other should have -especially since you’ve never parented together before?
-How do you put boundaries in place with an ex where there never has been any before?
-How can you focus on your relationship, when there seems to be so many other things vying for our attention?
-Aren’t the kids always the priorities in the beginning?
That’s where we come in.
Come join us at 2-hr. LIVE Play shop, where we work together, and give you a personalised “action plan” that you can put into place with your family immediately. It’s the best way to blend families – and fast.
Sign up here for THIS Sunday, April 3, playshop. It’s just $29.99.
It all starts at 2pm EST.
E-mail us at TheCleymans@gmail.com OR DM us @TheCleymans with any questions.
See you there!